Chapter 3 - Winter's Shadow

“Hey, Sleeping Beauty,” Debbi taunted. “Wake up. Do you want to go to Club Red today?”


“I don't think so,” Victoria answered with a yawn. “I'm really tired today. I think I'll just go home and try to take a quick nap before the house goes crazy later.”




The rocking of the bus threatened to pull Victoria back into sleep.




“Rough night?” Debbi asked.


“Very. Mom hasn't been feeling well and I ended up taking care of Bradley. He was...energetic. I didn't get him to bed until almost nine, then I still had to get my homework done.”


“Shoulda just skipped it.”




“I thought about that,” Victoria yawned again, “but I want to keep my grades up so I can go to Hampton after I graduate.”


“Oh. Well, are you sure you don't want to go to the club? Shane's gonna be there.”




At the mention of Shane's name, Victoria snapped awake. She looked at her friend's face, and found her grinning like the Cheshire cat. She could be really evil sometimes.

“I-I couldn't. He thinks I'm an idiot.”


“No he doesn't. In fact, he asked about you last night.”




“He...asked about me?” Victoria entertained the idea that Debbi might not be telling her the truth, but just thinking about Shane asking about her filled her with too much of a thrill to doubt her friend's sincerity.


“Mmmhmmm. He wanted to know all about you.”


“Sure,” sudden doubt started filling Victoria. “He probably wants to know what mental institution I belong to and why they let me out on a school night.”




Debbi laughed at her. “Funny, Vickers. But he doesn't think you're a mental case.”


“He doesn't?”


“No. I just told him you had Tourette's and couldn't help yourself.”




“Oh Debbi, you didn't!”


Debbi's shrill laughter split the air, causing the other kids on the bus to look at them curiously. “Of course not. But you should have seen your face. Priceless!”




The bus stopped and the two got off, a mere two blocks from the club. They were silent for a few moments before Debbi started talking again. Victoria always knew she could count on Debbi not to be silent for more than five minutes.


“How do you think you did on the test today?”


“Which one? I had two today.”



“Mr. Ficus',” Debbi rolled her eyes at her friend, as if to remind her that they only shared one class together.


“I think I did pretty well, but biology is one of my favorite subjects.”




“I bet Mr. Ficus passes you with flying colors,” Debbi batted her eyes at her.


“What's that supposed to mean?”


“It means that Mr. Ficus has a crush on you.”




“He does not.”


“Yes he does. I see the way he looks at you. He always looks at your legs when he passes by your desk. I think he's trying to see up your skirt.”





“Oh stop. If he's trying to see up anyone's skirt, it would be yours because it's always so short.”


“Everyone knows Mr. Ficus likes his coffee with lots of cream,” Debbi winked.




Victoria gasped. “No he doesn't. He likes it darker, caramel colored, like you.”


“You are such a tart, and he knows it.”




“Well, you want to marry Mr. Ficus,” Victoria retorted.


“Maybe. But you want to have his babies.”


Victoria tried to think of a response but was interrupted.


“Don't try to deny it, Vickers. Come on, we're here.”




This time, when Shane took the stool next to her, Victoria made a conscious effort to act normal, or, at least as normal as she could.


“Hi,” he said cheerfully.


“Hi.”


“She speaks!”




Victoria felt that familiar hotness in her face and neck again, grateful the light in the club was dark so Shane couldn't tell. She simply smiled at him.


“I was hoping you would come back today. We really didn't get a chance to talk. So, you're a sophomore, right?”


“No. I'm a freshman, like your sister.”


“Oh yeah, right.”




“Is...that bad?”


“Is what bad?”


“Being a freshman.”




“Of course not. I was there once, myself,” he had a charming lopsided grin. Victoria had to concentrate not to get swept away, he was so gorgeous. “Hey, wanna dance?”




Did she ever. She wanted to dance with him, kiss him, get married to him, have a million kids with him. She already had a huge crush on him, and she barely even knew him. It was those eyes, she told herself. She could get lost in them forever. When he looked at her, it was like he was really seeing her, heart and soul, and he seemed so genuine. So different from her father, who measured a person by their status. Shane seemed like he was really interested in her as a person. She hoped he was as real as he seemed to be.


Later that day, Victoria arrived home without even remembering the forty minute walk it took to get there. She was pretty sure she had floated all the way home.




But when she walked in the front door, thoughts of Shane vanished. Clayton was home, and he wasn't happy. He was storming through the house yelling something about how his boss was a two faced something or other and Richard would someday pay. Clay had been competing with Richard, who was just a little older than him, ever since he had gotten the job at Tellerman's several years before.


“I've had enough of that place anyway. I'm glad I got fired!”


Victoria gasped. “You got fired!?”




Clay turned his angry face at her. “Do you think I'd be wandering around in pajamas at six in the evening if I was hadn't gotten fired? What's the big deal, Vick? Huh? Go ahead and stare. Clayton VanDoren screwed up again. Way to make the old man proud, huh? Not that I should care anyway. He'll have a fit, tell me I'm worthless, that I'll never measure up to his 'standards' and probably disown me. So what? I hate this stupid house anyway, and everyone in it! I'm glad I'll be heading off to college next month. I just won't have my references from Mr. Tellerman. That should screw me over real good. I'll never get as far in business as dad, no matter how much I try, I'm just not good enough!”




Victoria watched as Clayton stormed through the kitchen, kicked a cabinet door and then stomped upstairs. She had thought about telling Clay that yes he was worth something, and there was no shame in what had happened, but she knew it would just fall on deaf ears. It was bad enough that he would be leaving for college half a year later than expected because Erik insisted he repeat some of his failed classes. That went over well in the VanDoren household. Victoria shuddered when she remembered the argument that happened that night.




Nothing she could say would change how he felt, and could, in fact, make things worse because he would just argue with her anyway. She loved her brother, but she was glad he was leaving next month, because then at least she would have one less stress to bother her. She knew Clay had a lot of potential, and she hoped being out of the poison pit that was their home would bring out the best in him.



**********




“I'm sorry, Ms. VanDoren, there's really nothing more I can do.”


Dr. Parker's voice sounded far away and thin, as if he were speaking to her through a tin can.




“But,” Victoria shifted on her feet, “can't you just come out to the house to look at her? Something's really wrong, Doctor. I just feel it.”


“I can't come out the house without your father's consent. If I did, he could sue me for malpractice. I've already told Mr. VanDoren that we need to run some tests on your mother. And I simply cannot do that without a signed consent form.”




Victoria started feeling desperate. “If you fax it to me, maybe I could get him to sign it. Would that work?”


“I'm afraid not. He needs to come down to the office, or allow me to come there to witness the signing. Why don't you talk to him? Maybe you could convince him to let me at least have a look at your mother.”




Victoria's eyes stung as she hung up the phone. She had already talked to her dad. Many times. He always said no. But she would just have to try again.




She fixed a nice supper, as nice as she could with her limited knowledge, of spaghetti and meatballs with homemade sauce, garlic bread, and a fresh garden salad. She sat quietly at the table with him, eating hers. Clay wasn't home, and Mother and Bradley were at on of their appointments. Victoria waited until her dad was almost finished before broaching the subject.




“Daddy? Can I talk to you about something?”


“Sure, Pumpkin. What's on your mind?”



When he looked at her she saw the father she used to know. The father that used to act like a giant robot and hold her upside down until she squealed. He rarely used pet names for her anymore. She couldn't decide if it was better he was in a good mood, meaning he might be more receptive, or if it would make things worse by bringing out the father she usually saw. Then she thought of her mother, pale and tired, barely enough energy to take Bradley out then come home and crawl into bed.




She decided her mother's welfare was more important than a pleasant night at home with her dad, even though she never got to have that.


“I'm really worried about Mom.”


Instantly, as if a cloud had just appeared over Erik's face, his expression changed. The tiny bit of mischievous glint his eyes held turned into outright annoyance, bordering on anger.




“Not this again, Victoria.”


“But Daddy, something is wrong with her. You've seen how pale she is all the time, and how tired. I think she needs to see Dr. Parker.”


“Bradley,” Erik said through clenched teeth, “is an exhausting child, and your mother spends every waking moment with him. She doesn't eat right, and doesn't get enough fresh air. There's nothing wrong with her except her unwillingness to take care of herself.”


“Well, maybe you could hire someone to help take care of Bradley, so Mom would have a little more time to herself.”


“You know your mother would never do that, Victoria. She would insist on taking care of him herself and performing her 'therapy' sessions. My idea was to send Bradley to The Helping House, a home for other kids like him, where he could be cared for.”




Victoria sat in stunned silence for a moment. “You...you wanted to send Bradley away?”


“To a place where he would be treated well by people accustomed to taking care of kids that are...different. Then we could have family dinners in peace, and I could invite clients over.”


“But...Bradley is your son. How could you send him away?”




“I haven't! He is still here, demanding every ounce of your mother's strength and energy.”


“But you wanted to.”


“Your mother wouldn't have it. We argued many times over it, but she refused. I finally just gave it up.”


So that's what they used to fight about so often. But Victoria wasn't entirely convinced that her mother's behavior was entirely due to Bradley.


“Could you please just let Dr. Parker come out and take a quick look at her? You don't even have to be here if you don't want to be, I'll handle everything. Please?”




Erik sighed deeply. “I suppose,” he said reluctantly, shoving one last bite into his mouth before leaving the table.


A surge of hope coursed through Victoria. She happily cleared the table and vowed to call tomorrow and set up an appointment.




Three days later, on a somewhat bleary Friday afternoon, Erik and Dr. Parker stood in her parents' bedroom, discussing Katherine. Actually, they had started out discussing her, and now their voices were starting to raise in anger. Katherine, oblivious to the noise, slept peacefully.




“Once again, Mr. VanDoren, I strongly suggest you have some labwork done on your wife.”


“And once again, I tell you she doesn't need that. She just works herself too hard. Can't you just give her some energy supplements or something?”




“Not without labwork. I have several blood tests I would like to run to clear the possibility of something internal at work here, just to be on the safe side. Certain prescriptions can interfere with symptoms or even make them worse if there is an abnormality in her system.”


“Look, you said yourself there were no outward appearances of anything but fatigue. I told you, she's just tired. She doesn't sleep or eat enough.”




“Outward appearance, Mr. VanDoren. That tells me nothing about what's going on inside her. Perhaps you are correct, and the blood tests show nothing. But until we have that proof, I can't prescribe anything.”


“Absolutely not,” Erik said indignantly.


“I beg your pardon?”




“Absolutely not. You do not have my permission to go poking needles all over my wife. Thank you for coming out Doctor, I believe we're done here.”


Dr. Parker, defeated, looked at Erik for another moment before gathering his bag.




Victoria didn't even bother to act like she wasn't eavesdropping. She didn't care if her father knew she had overheard or not. Dr. Parker nodded at her as he passed, but didn't slow down on his way to the stairs. Victoria stood helplessly, listening to him step down them with measured steps as if he was suppressing his anger. She heard the front door open and close, followed shortly thereafter by the sound of him slamming his car door and driving away.




She stood where she was in front of the stairs while her father approached, glaring at him.


“How could you? How could you send him away without letting him do the tests?”




“Victoria, I agreed to let him see her, not let him use her as a pincushion. She doesn't need those tests, there's nothing wrong with her that sending that child away won't fix.”




“You're a monster! You won't help your son or your wife. What kind of husband and father are you?”


“Now that is quite enough, young lady! You will not speak to me thusly. You will spend the rest of the week in your room with no supper to remind you that you need to have respect for your parents.”


“Well, if I don't cook, then no one will eat. Besides, maybe you should have respect for your family.”




His darkened eyes stared at her, and she knew she may have just crossed the line, but she didn't care. Maybe Clay was right to hate this house. She wished she were able to go to college soon and leave this place behind soon, too.